Betty ford says i'm here all night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
