You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have aggressive nipples.
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