She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
