So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
