I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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