oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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