True but thats because hes a fetus.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
