Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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