i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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