I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
