I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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