He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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