My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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