And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
