nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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