Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
third nipple confirmed
I just want to make out with him forever
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
