my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
