I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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