I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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