If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
