yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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