There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
