How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The uberlube is also flammable
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
