Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm going to jail i love you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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