I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
