We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
