No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
