dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
