you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
