I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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