Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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