walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you inspire me to be a worse person
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize