see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
