ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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