Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
