you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
