Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
