we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
