if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
