I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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