Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
