I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize