I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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