meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
