is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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