It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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