We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
