just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
