Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
