i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
