I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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