I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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