am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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