I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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