she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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