Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
